Elvis Wages Fatwa


Stephen Guy Hardin


Iranian rapper and owner of Naj’s Rug Emporium, Shahin Najafi, has been sentenced to death by the Islamic Republic of Iran. The death sentence was issued against the rap artist after he released a controversial song called Naqi.

Mr. Najafi has become the Salman Rushdie of rap after clerics in the Islamic republic issued a fatwa, or righteous curse of the boogeyman, labeling him an apostate. Being branded an apostate is considered punishable by death under sharia law and is the second most heinous crime in modern Iran, right after wearing Levi’s in public.

The holy shit storm hit Allah’s fan when the Germany based Najafi, released a song which made references to Ali al-Hadi al-Naqi. Ali al-Hadi al-Naqi is the tenth of the twelve Shia Muslim Imams, a religious figure highly respected by millions in Iran and several sections of south Detroit.

The cleric Ayatollah Naser Makareme Shirazi, Junior, a Holocaust denier and registered Democrat based in the semi holy city of South Qom was the latest to jump on the fatwa camel train.

Fatwa camel train, indeed.

“Any outrage against the infallible Imams, including obvious insults, would make a Muslim an apostate,” he said. Naser Makareme Shirazi, Junior, has in the past issued other controversial edicts. Such as an attempt to ban women from attending public soccer matches, denying the existence of the Holocaust and banning reruns of How I Met Your Mother on Iranian national television. Well, I can see the logic of that last one.

But, I digress.

Najafi’s song, Naqi, is a rap commentary on Iranian social and religious events from the past year. Najafi, speaking from his rug shop in Frankfurt, has rejected claims that he meant to insult the Imam’s religious beliefs or the true parentage of their children.

“I thought there would be some ramifications. But I didn’t think I would upset the regime that much. Now they are taking advantage of the situation and making it look like I was trying to criticize Islam and put down believers,” he told German journalist and renowned Islamophile, Wolfgang Fang, who is the author of the international bestseller, Eva Braun Wore a Hakim.

“For me it is more of an excuse to talk about completely different things. I also criticize Iranian society in the song. It seems as though people are just concentrating on the word ‘Imam’. Just because I call the Imam’s bitches does not mean I do not respect them.”

In an effort to resolve the growing cultural crisis the official Iranian religious website, http://www.tehranafterdark.org, has offered a $105,000 reward for anyone who delivers Najafi’s head on a platter. Or failing that, there is a $ 20,000 reward for an autographed copy of his soon to be released CD, Elvis Wages Fatwa.

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